The Kids are Watching
Too often parents forget the impact their actions have on their children. Fighting, demeaning the other parent, or making the children choose sides is completely unacceptable. You may feel like the victim and may need to vent your anger, but discussing the details of your relationship and divorce could really hurt your children. If you need to vent, use a friend, a therapist, or your attorney.
In a recent article published in Forbes, marriage and family therapist Dr. Arlie Albrecht discusses how parents should watch their behavior.
“It’s not just celebrity parents but all parents who should adhere to sky-high behavioral standards, according to Dr. Arlie Albrecht, a marriage and family therapist who practices in Green Bay, Wisc. “Because of that, we’re older and supposedly wiser and making better choices,” Albrecht says. “I think that, those of us who have children, we should hold ourselves up to a higher standard.”
If you remember to protect your children from the painful details of your divorce and control your anger around them, your children will surely adapt and recover from the divorce. It can be hard to hold your tongue, especially when you feel the other parent is doing everything they can to try to alienate the children from you. But the love and nurturing you show your children now will also support a stronger bond for the future. A child, even an adult child, should never be put in the middle of their parents divorce. If you insist on putting your child in the middle of the divorce, it may damage your relationship forever.
Furthermore, there is nothing a judge finds more concerning than a parent who is willing to put their children in the middle of their divorce. It is completely acceptable and understandable to fight for custody of your child, but it is completely unacceptable to use the child as leverage in the divorce. Remember, it is not your child you need on your side in the divorce, it is the judge